I don't want OTC antidepressants, is there anything like 5-HTP or something that will make me at least slightly less depressed? I am trying REALLY hard to not kill myself.
Mate, I know it's tempting to try and find a pill that will make all your problems go away but it's just not that easy.
You need to try and figure out WHY you're feeling like this, and then actively try to solve the problems which are making you feel depressed.
If something has only just happened, and it was a one-off event which is making you want to kill yourself, that to me suggests that this is a really impulsive decision. That is THE WORST time to actually kill yourself, because chances are even tomorrow or the next day you'll be feeling better. And when you commit suicide, that's it man, it's done, and there's no turning back. In my opinion it's not worth ending your life when there's such a high chance that everything is going to be alright again very soon.
The other problem with anti-depressants and herbal supplements for mood stabilisation, is that you need to be taking them continuously for like 3-4 weeks before they even have a consistent effect on your mood. There is no OTC medication which makes you feel better instantly.
I would highly suggest that you call a close friend or a family member who you trust, and talk to them about how you're feeling. Try and solve whatever the problem is that is making you feel depressed/suicidal. You'd be surprised how much those two things can help.
If depression has been an ongoing problem for you, please see your doctor to discuss the various treatment options on offer. There is plenty of help available if you need it.
Take care of yourself okay??
